Family Bonding
by Rob Phantom
Summary: Zim is tired of Dib always defeating him, and Gaz is no picninc either. but one day Zim thinks of a way to keep them away by puting them togeter, in a most unusual way.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Invader Zim fic, I hope that you like it.

Disclamer: I don't own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez does.

Family Bonding

Chapter One: The Evil Plan Thingie!

Our story begins on a small blue planet inhabited by insane monkeys called Earth. We fly down to the surface, and after getting over the horrible burning of reentry, we see a large city. After flying for a little bit, and running into a flock of birds, we find yourself in front of a deformed green house, with creepy lawn gnomes. Now what made this house unusual, besides everything about its appearance, was that there lived here an alien Invader, named Zim.

Deep under the house in his secret base the Irken invader was planning the doom of all humanity, but there was on problem. A certain big headed human named Dib, who knew he was a alien, was standing in his way. In fact Zim had just come back from yet another defeat by the young paranormal investigator.

"Curses! That stinking pig monkey Dib has ruined yet another of my ingenious plans!" yelled the invader, who was still smoldering from the explosion of his planet popper machine.

"Aw! Does master need a hug?" said Gir, Zim's incredible dysfunctional robot servant.

"No Gir! What I need is to destroy that meddling human once and for all! Now go do something while I plan." said Zim.

"Yay! I'm gonna play with my pig!" said Gir as he ran off to find the very unfortunate animal.

As Gir's insane giggling began to fade Zim sat down at his computer.

"Computer!" said Zim.

"What?" said the bored computer.

"Bring up all the video files I have on the Dib human, maybe I can find some weakness I can use to destroy him." said Zim.

Zim's computer brought up the files and Zim began to watch them. After obsessively watching them for any sign of weakness Zim finally saw something that intrigued him. Not a weakness in Dib himself, but in the company he kept, namely his sister, Gaz. The Gaz human had also been part of several of Zim's defeats, although reluctantly.

"Hmm, the Dib and Gaz humans seem to have a great deal of hostility between each other, and they seem to get easily annoyed by the others presence." Zim said out loud to himself.

Zim began to think on this information, and soon his insane mind began to form a plan.

"Yes, that't it, I will turn the Dib monkey and Gaz human dislike for each other against them, but how?" said Zim.

Zim began to think some more, then suddenly a evil grin appeared on his face.

"I think I know just how to stop them both from ruining my plans, Mwhahahaha!" said Zim as he began to laugh evilly.

"Gaz? Did you just hear a evilly cackle?" said Dib as he sat on the sofa watching Mysterious Mysteries.

"No, now shut up, I'm in the zone." said Gaz as she played with her Gameslave 2

"Whatever." said Dib, still a little paranoid.

It was the next day and Dib and Gaz were walking to skool. As always Gaz was playing with her Gameslave, and Dib was ranting on about Zim and how he was going to destroy them all.

"I tell you Gaz, Zim is up to something, I just know it. he's probably got some sort of ray gun to melt our faces or something." said Dib, unaware of his sister's growing anger.

"Dib, shut up, I'm trying to play." said Gaz, trying to block out Dib's ranting.

"You just don't get it Gaz, Zim is out to destroy the world, and if you didn't notice that is where you live. If we don't stop him he'll…" said Dib, but he was interrupted by a very angry Gaz.

"No Dib, its you who don't get it! Zim is an incompetent nitwit who couldn't take over a paper bag, let alone the Earth! You keep talking about him like he's a threat, but if he really was as dangerous as you say do you think you would still be alive?" said Gaz, abandoning her Gameslave in her rage.

"uh…well…" said Dib.

"No! You would not, you would be dead! Zim is an idiot, and will never be anything more then that! So what I am trying to say is GET OVER IT!" yelled Gaz.

Dib was about to say something when all of a sudden he jerked still. Then suddenly he fell over, with a dart sticking out of his neck.

"What the…?" began Gaz, but she too was hit by a dart and fell over.

The last thing she heard before losing consciousness was an evil cackling sound.

It was a little while later and Gaz began to awake, and she had a terrible headache. She tried to move her hand, but found that she could not. She looked down to see that she was strapped down to a table. She looked up to find herself in a familiar looking lab, Zim's lab. She looked to her side and saw Dib strapped down next to her and still knocked out.

"Hey stupid! Wake up!" yelled Gaz.

"Huh? What? Where are we? Hey are we in Zim's lab?" said Dib, finally realizing where they were

"No, we're actually at happy fun world." said Gaz sarcastically.

"Whatever, you're just upset that I was right, Zim is a threat." said Dib, remembering their earlier argument.

"No, Zim is an idiot." said Gaz, trying to break free but failing.

"Oh, so that's why we're in his lab strapped down to a table, you're in denial." said Dib.

"You would do well to listen to the Dib worm little Gaz." said Zim, who descended from the ceiling using the spider legs from his Pak.

"Zim! You'll never get away with…whatever your planning!" said Dib.

"Nice save Dib." said Gaz.

"Not helping Gaz." said Dib, but then Zim continued talking.

"Oh but that is where you are wrong Dib stink, for I have come up with my most ingenious plan ever to make sure you and your sister don't ruin my plans to destroy mankind." said Zim.

"And how are you planning to do that?" said Dib.

"Oh wouldn't you like to know, but you will find out soon enough." said Zim.

Zim then pointed a ray gun at Dib and Gaz and fired. Dib and Gaz screamed as searing pain shot through their bodies, the pain was so intense that they were knocked unconscious. Zim observed his evil handy work, and once he was sure it had worked he ordered the computer to eject Dib and Gaz from the house.

Dib and Gaz were dumped unceremoniously onto the sidewalk. After a few minutes they woke up and began to walk unsteadily towards their house. They entered the house and sat down on the couch.

"Ow, what the heck did Zim hit us with? For all the pain it doesn't seem to have done anything." thought Dib.

Then as Dib brought his hand down his hand brushed against his sisters head.

"Gaz, don't sit so close to me." said Dib.

"What are you talking about, your sitting to close to me." said Gaz.

"Don't be silly I…" began Dib, but then he noticed something weird.

When Dib ran his hand down the side of his body, he noticed that it went down, then started to go back up again. Gaz at this same time noticed something was weird as well when she tried to push Dib away, and he wouldn't budge. They both looked down at the same time to see that their bodies seem to run into each other and attach to the same pair of legs, with no indication that they were separate. They both lifted their heads back up and stared at each other with wide eyes, then they did the only thing they could do, they screamed bloody murder.

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Ok, that was my first chapter, I know it probable is not good, but please read and review anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Horrible Day of Doom!

We rejoin our story with Gaz and Dib screaming, a scream so loud it broke every window in the house and caused an unfortunate squirrel to burst into flames.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Dib and Gaz, their cries of terror being joined by that of the unfortunate squirrel.

"Dib! What the hell is going on, why are we stuck together?" said Gaz, trying to rip herself off of their combined hip.

"I don't know, all I remember is Zim then…oh that rotten alien! This is his fault, he did this to us!" said Dib.

"Oh this is perfect, as if your not annoying me enough already, now I have to deal with it 24 hours a day." said Gaz.

"Look, I hate this as much as you do…" said Dib.

"I highly doubt that." said Gaz, Dib then continued.

"…But we have to figure out a way to get ourselves apart again." said Dib.

"And how do we do that Mr. Big head?" said Gaz.

"My heads not big! Anyway, maybe we can get Dad to help us?" said Dib.

"Oh no, no way are we asking Dad for help, remember what happened when he found out all I could taste was pig?" said Gaz.

"Oh yeah, the pig mouth incident, that was a particularly horrible experience for all involved." said Dib.

"Correct, in fact I'm still mad at you for that." said Gaz, and then she punched him in the left arm. (Gaz is on the left side, and Dib is on the right.)

But then instead of hearing the pleasing sound of her brother in pain, she heard nothing. Just as she was about to punch him again an incredible pain shot through her left arm and she yelled.

"OW! What the heck just happened?" said Gaz, rubbing her sore arm.

"Hmm, it would seem that our central nervous systems have been combined as well. But not only that, if one person is harmed, the other will feel the pain." said Dib.

"Oh great, I can't even doom you anymore, this day just gets worse and worse." said Gaz.

"Yeah, but now its pay back time." said Dib who then punched himself in the stomach.

"Ow! Why you…" said Gaz, grabbing her hurting stomach.

"That's for all the times you beat me up, now I can finally get you back for it, and I won't feel a thing." said Dib.

"I'm going to doom you!" said Gaz.

"Yeah right, you'll only hurt yourself if you…wait what are you doing?" said Dib, as Gaz then bit her right arm.

"Ouch! That hurt!" said Dib.

"You bet it did, now prepare to feel pain unlike any you have ever known." said Gaz.

"Bring it on sister!" said Dib.

And so they proceeded to beat themselves up, and wreak the living room, kitchen and basement lab. After about a hour of this they were laying in a heap in the living room, too tired and hurt to move.

"Gaz, this is getting us nowhere." said Dib.

"Yeah, this is stupid." said Gaz.

"We have to think of a way to break into Zim's base and reverse whatever it was he did to us." said Dib.

"Yes, and when we find him he will pay dearly." said Gaz.

But that revenge would have to wait, for one of the Skool's truant officer drones burst into the room. It used its electronic eye to scan the room, and it eventually fell on Gaz and Dib.

"Subjects Dib and Gaz, you are tardy from Middle Skool, I am here to forcibly take you there." said the computer voice of the drone.

"Uh this isn't a really good time…" began Dib, but the drone ignored him.

"Beginning capture sequence now." said the drone.

Before they could do anything the drone shot out a net that captured them. The drone then reeled them in and fly towards the school.

"This is bad, this is very bad." said Dib.

"No really? Do you think?" said Gaz.

The drone ignored them and continued on to the middle skool, its first stop was Ms. Bitters classroom.

"Subject Dib, here is your classroom." Said the drone, it then grabbed both Dib and Gaz, not realizing they were attached.

"Wait! You making a mistake…" said Dib, but the drone threw them into the classroom.

"Suject Gaz you will be…where did she go...Subject Gaz gone…does not compute." said the drone, then it had a short circuit and exploded.

Inside Ms. Bitters classroom Dib and Gaz picked themselves up and came face to face with the wide eyed stares of the skool children. Zim was there as well, grinning at his evil handy work.

"Wow, Dib is stuck to his freaky sister." said one of them.

"And it thought they couldn't get freakier." said Zita.

"They're like some sort of freaky Siamese howler monkey or something." said the Letter M.

The rest of the class was talking about Dib and Gaz's freaky appearance when Ms. Bitters slithered into the room. She apparently moved up in the skool system, anyway as she entered the room fell silent, except for Zim's soft evil chuckling.

"Silence! Dib, you're late! What excuse do you have this time? Was it Bigfoot, or the chupacabra?" said Ms. Bitters.

"No Ms. Bitters it was Zim, he…" began Dib, but Gaz put her hand over his mouth to silence him.

"We accidentally came in contact with Tuesday's lunch special, and we fused together." said Gaz.

"Hmm, that makes sense, it would explain why you two are fused together, anyway take your seat so that I may tell you all how you are doomed." said Ms. Bitters.

Dib and Gaz sat down at Dib's desk and Ms. Bitters began her lesson plan of doom.

"Now where was I last time, oh yes, you are all doomed, doomed, dooooomed!" said Ms. Bitters.

"Thank goodness the food at this school is so bad, it serves as an excuse for anything." said Gaz quietly.

"Gaz, why did you stop me from telling her it was Zim?" said Dib quietly.

"One because she won't have believed you and we would be in trouble, and second I just like making you shut up." said Gaz.

"Dib and…uh, what is your name?" said Ms. Bitters.

"Gaz." said Gaz.

"Right, do you two want to be sent to the underground classrooms?" said Ms. Bitters.

"No Ms. Bitters." said Dib and Gaz.

"Then shut your snot filled pie holes and be quiet. Now to continue, doom, doom, doom…" said Ms. Bitters

This continued until it was lunch time.

"Doom, doom, doom, go to lunch!" said Ms. Bitters angrily as the bell rang.

So the students dashed madly out of the room and to the cafeteria, glad to be away from Ms. Bitters for a while. Dib and Gaz followed suit and soon were in the cafeteria. As they entered they noticed that Zim was sitting at his usual table, poking at the food on his plate like it was alive, and considering the way the food was normally it probably was. Dib stomped over to Zim, dragging Gaz along with him.

"Zim, we know you did this to us, now give us the antidote." said Dib.

"I don't know what you're talking about Dib, and even if I did there is no way you would get in to my base to get it." said Zim.

"Oh we will get in, and once we do, we will cure ourselves and expose you for the horrible alien you are." said Dib.

"Your all talk Dib, you will never beat me." said Zim.

It was then that Gaz grabbed the front of Zim's uniform and stared at him with hate filled eyes.

"Normally I don't agree with Dib, but we will beat you, and you will pay dearly for what you have done to us." said Gaz.

"Uh…well…your mama!" said Zim.

"That doesn't make sense." said Gaz.

"Maybe to your tiny human brain it doesn't." said Zim.

"Whatever." said Gaz, as she threw Zim back into his seat.

Dib and Gaz walked back to their usual table and sat down.

"That was kind of neat, its good to see others receiving your wrath instead of me." said Dib.

"Can it Dib, we have to plan how to get into Zim's house and make him suffer like he has never suffered before." said Gaz.

"I have tons of plans in my locker for breaking into Zim's house." said Dib.

"Ugh, I never thought I would say this, show me your plans Dib." said Gaz.

Dib grinned insanely as he dragged his sister off to see his giant folders full of plans.

"But first, I have to go to the bathroom." said Gaz, stopping them in front of the restrooms.

"Uh, just one question, which one do we use?" said Dib.

"I...don't know." said Gaz, realizing they had never checked what gender their lower half was.

"Well on of us has to look, and its not going to be me." said Dib.

"Fine, I'll check you big baby." said Gaz.

And so Gaz quickly checked.

"It looks like I win." said Gaz.

"Aw man! My lower half is a girl, that is not right!" said Dib.

"Whatever." said Gaz as she dragged a very unhappy Dib into the girl's bathroom.

After Gaz went to use the rest room, and Dib finished throwing up, they went to his locker to look at his palns. The school day dragged on and on after that, mostly for Gaz because she had to listen to Dib explain his spying plans in painful mind numbing detail. Finally school was over and the two siblings went home. Several hours went by as they prepared to infiltrate Zim's base, and soon it was night. They snuck up to the house using one of their dad's stealth suits, modified to fit them, and soon were in front of the hideous green house.

"You ready Gaz?" said Dib.

"Yeah, lets go kick Zim's green butt." said Gaz.

So the two teens made their way to the door of the house, using electronic scramblers to short out the gnome guards. They got to the door and found that it was oddly enough unlocked.

"Hmm, why would Zim leave his door unlocked?" whispered Dib.

"That weird robot of his probably did it, now shut up and lets get inside." said Gaz.

They entered the living room to find that Gir was sitting in front of the TV watching the scary monkey show.

"Hi big head and scary girl! I'm watching the scary monkey show!" said Gir.

"Uh Gir, you wouldn't happen to know where Zim is would you?" said Dib.

It was then that the Gir went into duty mode and he jumped down from the couch and lasers popped out of his head.

"Halt, you are intruders!" said Gir.

"We'll give you a taco if you tell us where Zim is." Said Gaz, this instantly brought Gir back to his normal insane self.

"Yay! Taco! Master is down stairs talking to the big tall guys." said Gir.

"Hmm, Zim must be talking to his leaders, that is perfect! With him distracted we can sneak up on him and take him by surprise." said Dib.

"Ok, then lets get moving, here's your taco." Said Gaz as she threw the taco to Gir.

As Gir enjoyed his spicy snack food, Gaz and Dib climbed into Zim's trash can elevator and descended to the lab. Meanwhile Zim was talking to the Almighty Tallest about his latest plan to destroy humanity.

"Zim, what exactly do the dancing cyber weasels have to do with destroying the Earth?" said Tallest Purple.

"That is the beauty of the plan, if you can't figure out what they are for, surly the humans will never know what hit them." said Zim.

"That's nice Zim but we have…important Tallest things to do." said Tallest Red.

He signaled to one of the deck crew to cut the transmission, but nothing happened.

"What in the name of Irk is going on?" said Red as he stabbed at the button furiously.

"Oh that was me, I've noticed that every time I call you the transmission gets broken for some reason. So I invented a device that allows me to keep it open so that I may finish explaining my brilliant plans to you." said Zim.

"Zim…" said Red angrily, but Zim ignored him and continued.

"Anyway, were was I, oh yes! my new plan is sure to succeed now that I have gotten those two annoying humans out of the way, they will be unable to stop me from destroying this stinking rock of dirt." said Zim.

Little did Zim realize that those same humans were sneaking up behind him. Soon they were right behind him, but before they could strike Purple noticed them.

"Uh Zim, what is that hideous thing behind you?" said Purple.

"Huh?...Dib and Gaz!...uh I'll call you back." said Zim as he cut the transmission to the Massive.

"Thank Irk that's over, Now technician." said Red.

"Yes my Tallest?" said the Technician.

"Find whatever Zim did to your communications systems and remove it, if you don't we'll hurl you out the air lock." said Red.

"Right away my Tallest." said the Technician as he frantically worked to fix the problem.

Meanwhile back in Zim's lab he was dealing with the unwanted company.

"Dib and Gaz, what a unpleasant surprise, do you know that you just interrupted a very important call?" said Zim.

"Who cares Zim, we want the antidote to whatever you did to us, and we want it now." said Dib.

"Never! I will never give you the antidote, with you like this nothing can stop me

"You better hand it over if you know what's good for you." said Gaz.

"Always with the threats Gaz human, well they won't work here. Computer, capture the intruders!" said Zim.

Suddenly a bunch of wires shot out of the ceiling and rapped around Gaz and Dib. The wires pulled them off the ground and restricted them, then Zim walked up to his helpless enemies.

"So what now Zim, are you going to destroy us?" said Dib.

"No, I think it would be much better for you to watch as I conquer your puny planet, while you can do nothing to stop me. Computer eject this filth from my lab, the Tallest are still waiting for me to call back." said Zim.

The computer obeyed and threw Dib and Gaz into a trash chute and they were shot out of the house and onto the street with a loud thud. They picked themselves off of the ground and looked at the house.

"Well, that was a bust." said Gaz.

"I know, Zim will pay dearly for this." said Dib, in the same dark voice Gaz uses when she is mad.

"Zim will not get away with this, we will get the the antidote and then expose him to all humanity for what he is." said Gaz, in the same savior of Humanity voice Dib uses when he is being all dramtic.

It was after these two statements that Dib and Gaz noticed something was was odd. They looked at each other and then the next weird thing happened.

"Did you just…" said Dib.

"…act like me?" said Gaz, finishing the sentence.

But before they could contemplate more on this weird event something even weirder and more horrible happened. Suddenly they were racked with pain and their whole body shock. They looked down to see that their bodies were zipping together like a jacket. Soon their arms on that side were gone as their bodies combined, putting their heads on the same pair of shoulders.

"What the heck is going on?" said Gaz.

"I think I know, when Zim combined us it must have started a process that is still on going." said Dib.

"So that means?" said Gaz.

"It means that if we don't stop it soon we will be completely combined together, including our personalities, and nothing will ever reverse it." said Dib.

"NOOOOO!" yelled Gaz, shattering all glass for five miles.

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Well that was the second chapter, it looks like things are just getting worse and worse for Dib and Gaz. Some say I may be cruel for doing this to them, but I tend to ignore them. Anyway please read and review.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: It Gets Worse, Much Worse

"NOOOOO!" screamed Gaz, still going after four minutes.

"Gaz, are you done yet?" said Dib.

"Yeah, I'm done." said Gaz.

"Good, now we need to figure out how to get back into Zim's base and find someway to reverse this." said Dib.

"How are we going to do that? He's probable going to be on alert for intruders for weeks after our little expedition." said Gaz.

"That won't be a problem, that little robot will let us in, and we'll do it by playing on his one weakness, tacos." said Dib.

"Hmm, that sounds like a plan." said Gaz.

"And once we are inside we will beat the stuffing out of Zim…" said Dib.

"…and force him to give us the antidote…ok this finishing each others sentences thing is getting really annoying." said Gaz.

"Right, now lets get to work on the plan." said Dib.

Meanwhile back in Zim's lab he was putting the finishing touches on his latest plan for world conquest.

"Gir, the mind liquefier is almost ready, soon I will turn the minds of the humans, such as they are, into pudding. Then nothing will stop me from ruling this filthy ball of dirt, Hahahaha!" said Zim, laughing at his own evil.

"Yay! I love pudding! Can we have some, can we? Can we?" said Gir.

"No Gir, never again, not after that one time." said Zim, one of his eyes twitching as he remembered the horrible events that had taken place.

"Aw! But what am supposed to do now?" said Gir.

"Why don't you go watch the upper levels of the house and make sure no one gets in." said Zim.

"Yes my master!" said Gir in serious mode.

Gir rocketed up to the top floor of the house, once they he went back to his normal crazy self and began to watch TV. Two hours went by and Gir was starting to get bored with TV, seeing as he flipped through all the channels 20 times by then. Then suddenly the door bell rang, Gir sprang from the couch to answer the door. When he opened it he saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, a giant box with the word Tacos on it.

"Yay! Somebody loves me!" said Gir as he lifted the box and brought it inside.

Just as Gir was about to enjoy his tacos from hevean, someone burst from the box, it was Dib and Gaz. They quickly shot a net at Gir that captured him.

"Aw! where's my tacos?" said Gir sadly.

"Ok, now that Gir is out of the way I…I mean we can find Zim and make him pay." Said Dib and Gaz at the same time.

The process was so far along now that Dib and Gaz were speaking in sequence and having trouble keeping their personalities separate. They needed to get the antidote soon or they would be doomed.

"Ok, now to find Zim." said Gaz/Dib as they or she if you prefer, pulled out a laser rifle.

Gaz/Dib made their way to the secret entrance to Zim's lab and blasted off the lid. They jumped down the chute and slide to the bottom. As they had expected Zim did have his security up and the computer tried to attack them. Gaz/Dib shoot at the weapons that were coming at them, and thanks to Gaz's superior gaming skills they were able to destroy them all. Using Dib's memory of Zim's base they quickly made a beeline for Zim's main lab. Meanwhile in said Lab Zim was admiring his new weapon of human annihilation.

"Yes, it finally finished, with this new invention I will finally bring this planet to its knees. Soon they humans will bow down to me as their almighty ruler. New words will have to be invented just to describe the sheer brilliance of my conquest and..." said Zim, but then his computer interrupted him.

"Uh Zim, there is something I need to tell you." said the Computer.

"Not now computer, can't you see that I am praising my brilliance." said Zim.

"But sir…" said the Computer.

"Oh what is it computer?" said a very annoyed Zim.

"There is a…" began the computer, but it was interrupted by the door being blown in.

"…intruder in the base." said the Computer.

Out of the smoking remains of the door stepped Gaz/Dib, and she/he looked angry.

"Zim! I…I mean we are here to make you pay for what you did to us, and get the antidote!" said Gaz/Dib.

"I don't think so Earth scum, you will never defeat me and my amazing new machine!" said Zim.

Zim laughed at Gaz/Dib, which was a bad idea because Gaz/Dib put a swift end to it by firing a laser blast at the machine causing it to explode.

"No! My beautiful machine! What have you fools done!" said Zim.

"The antidote, now!" yelled Gaz/Dib.

"Foolish humans, or human as the case may be, I never made an antidote." said Zim.

"You never made an antidote!" yelled Gaz/Dib, her/his anger rising.

"Yes, why would I make something that would reverse what I have done? Sorry that you came here just to be destroyed, well actually I am not." said Zim as a bunch of weapons popped out of the wall.

But Gaz/Dib was not listening to Zim anymore, they were so consumed by rage that they had only one thing on their minds. At that moment the last part of the process happened. With one last gut wrenching shake Gaz and Dib finally combined completely. The new being that stood there was a girl with black hair, but in Gaz's hair style, glasses, and with the permanent scowl on her face that Gaz had. She wore Dib's trench coat and Gaz's dress, only with the same indifferent smiley face that had been on Dib's t-shirt, and a pair of boots. The girl turned to Zim and spoke to him in the most chilling voice you would every hear.

"Zim, I am going to doom you." Said the new being, which we will call Gab.

Gab launched herself at the weapons and in a move so fast that it was over in less then a minute she had destroyed the weapons. Gab then turned to look at Zim, hate radiating off her body in waves.

"Uh oh." was all Zim could say before she was upon him.

The fight that began was not so much a fight as a beat the crap out of Zim contest. Zim was hurled around his lab and had the day lights beaten out of him, Dib and Gaz's mutual hatred for Zim fueling Gab's rage.

"Ahhh! Let go of me." Said Zim as he tried to crawl away.

"No Zim, you must be punished for what you did to me, and then I will hand your bloody pulp of a carcass over to the government." said Gab as she pulled him back into the fight.

"Nooooo!" yelled Zim as he was pummeled once more.

Because of the fight the whole lab was now a mess, and make things were knocked onto the ground, including the ray gun that had combined Dib and Gaz. The ray gun happened to land right next to them as Gab was strangling Zim. Zim had deployed his spider legs, but could not use them properly in his panicked state of mind. So it may not surprise you that one of those flailing legs happened to hit the one button on the ray gun. The ray fired at them and enveloped them, and then something strange began to happen. Gab tried to punch Zim in the chest, but found that his had went into him like he was make of taffy or something. Zim and Gab both noticed this and looked to see that their bodies were melting together, Zim tried to push Gab away but his had got stuck in her stomach.

"Computer! What is going on here!" yelled Zim.

"It appears that the DNA combiner ray was fired and hit both of you, and now it is combining your DNA. Also it appears to be progressing at a faster rate with your human and Irkan DNA." said the Computer.

"Well it looks like your getting a taste of your own medicine Zim." said Gab as the process moved faster.

"No! This can't be happening! I am Zim! I am Zim…." screamed Zim as they completely combined.

Several hours later on the Massive.

"Incoming message from Planet Earth." said one of the communication technicians.

"Ugh, can't Zim leave us alone for more then a few hours?" said Purple.

"What should I do my Tallest?" said the Technician.

"Let the call through, I want to yell at Zim for the stunt he pulled earlier." said Red.

The technician obeyed the command and let the transmission go through; soon a face appeared on the screen.

"What do you want…now…Zim." said Red, suddenly going speechless at the strange being on the screen.

The being on the screen looked like Zim, but there were several things wrong. First of all he, actually now a she, had hair, black hair to be precise in the same style as Gaz, with two antennae sticking out of it. She also wore a black trench coat and had two amber colored eyes. The dress that she wore now had an Irken symbol on it and the Pak on its back now had a weird color scheme of blue, purple and red. The two Tallest stood there in shock at the sight before them, then finally Purple spoke.

"Man, and I thought he was unpleasant to look at before." said Purple.

"Zim, is that you?" said Red.

"Yes, well sort of, there was a accident in the lab that caused me to be combined with two stinking humans known as Gaz and Dib." said Zim, or what used to be Zim

"Hmm, you don't say. Zim do you happen to feel any different then you did before?" said Red.

"Well, now that you mention it my Tallest I do seem to be thinking clearer, and I feel a whole bunch of strange feelings that I can't even describe." said Zim.

"Zim, could you give us a moment to talk in private." said Red.

"Yes my Tallest." said Zim.

Red and Purple left the bridge of the Massive and went into a private conference room off to the side. When they got there purple was the first to speak.

"Red, what exactly is going on here? Normally we would have hung up on Zim long ago." said Purple

"Haven't you noticed that something is different about Zim?" said Red.

"Now that you mention it, I have noticed but I can't put my finger on it." said Purple.

"Let me explain it to you then, for the whole time since he called us what was Zim doing?" said Red.

"He was sitting there calmly…what a minute that is strange, normally he would have started right off into one of his insane rants." said Purple.

"Exactly, something must have happened to him when he was combined with the two humans. In fact it might be a good thing." said Red.

"What do you mean?" said Purple.

"You know those reports that Zim sends to us, the ones we usually throw out?" said Red.

"Yeah, and your point is?" said Purple.

"Well one day when I was bored I happened to look at one of them." said Red.

"And you didn't go insane? I'm shocked." said Purple.

"Yeah, me too, anyway it happened to be on the two humans that just got combined with Zim, Gaz and Dib. In it I saw something that interested me and so I sent a secret probe to the Earth to spy on them." said Red.

"Why would you even bother?" said Purple.

"In case we ever decide to conquer the planet that's why, we do need to know about it. When I got the information back I was intrigued. For a lesser species these two are quite advanced, even approaching Irkens in skill. The Dib human seems to be highly intelligent, and with his giant head he would have to be. He also seems to be highly skilled with breaking into high tech locations, since he is able to break into Zim's base regularly." said Red.

"But its Zim, and the stuff we gave him was out of date." said Purple.

"Yes, but it is still more then his people have, so it is impressive. As for the Gaz human she seems to spend a incredible time using what appear to be electronic combat simulators, which on her planet are called 'video games'. She also seems to be good at piloting space ships considering she managed to fly an Irken escape pod with no trouble. She also seems to have supreme calm under fire, but knows the right time to release her anger to destroy her enemies." said Red.

"What is your point Red?" said Purple.

"My point Purple is that their best traits combined with superior Irken training could have made Zim a…good invader." said Red.

"Really? I didn't think it was possible for Zim to be a good invader." said Purple.

"There's only one way to find out, we need to bring Zim here to take the Invader test again." said Red.

"Are you mad! We can't let Zim on this ship, he'll destroy something!" said Purple.

"First off it's a she now, if you haven't noticed. Second we'll have a bunch of guards keep an eye on Zim to make sure she does not cause any trouble." said Red.

"Ok, but if something blows up I'm blaming you." said Purple.

The two Tallest went back into the bridge of the Massive, where Zim/Gaz/Dib was still on screen.

"What has Zim done since we left?" Red asked one of the bridge crew.

"Nothing sir, she just sits there being very still." said the crew member.

"Excellent." said Red as he then turned to face Zim/Gaz/Dib.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Zim, but we were just discussing what to do about this strange situation." said Red.

"That is quite alright my Tallest, I am honored to wait for your wise words." said Zim/Gaz/Dib.

"Zim, we want you to come to the Massive to retake your Invaders test, just to make sure that being combined with the humans has not degraded it or anything." said Red.

"Of course my Tallest." said Zim/Gaz/Dib.

"Good, you are to leave immediately." said Red.

"Yes my Tallest." said Zim/Gaz/Dib as she cut the transmission.

"I hope you know what you are doing." said Purple.

"Don't worry, I have a good feeling about this." said Red.

It was few weeks later that Zim's Voot Cruisers arrived and docked with the Massive. Zim/Gaz/Dib was accompanied to the bridge by at least five guards. They quickly moved through the ship and soon they were at the bridge. The guards fell behind Zim/Gaz/Dib but kept a close eye on him as Zim/Gaz/Dib stepped forward to meet the Tallest.

"I have arrived as ordered my Tallest." said Zim/Gaz/Dib.

"Yes Zim, we see that, well actually Zim might not be a good name for you now. So as your Almighty Tallest I will pick a new name for you, you shall now be…Zab." said Red.

"Uh sure my Tallest, but if I may say so why did you pick a new name for me?" said Zab.

"I have my reasons." said Red. "Mostly to get you as far from your old insane self as possible if my idea is correct." Red thought to himself. (And mostly because I don't want to write Zim/Gaz/Dib anymore.)

"Now then Zab you will go into this test chamber and take the Invaders Test, and your skills better be up to the test." said Red.

"Of course they are my Tallest, I am the best there is." said Zab.

"We'll see, now in you go." said Red as he pushed Zab into the test chamber.

"So now what do we do?" said Purple.

"We wait and see if I'm right." said Red.

"And if your not?" said Purple.

"Well there's always the air lock we can eject her out of." said Red.

Several hours went by and Red and Purple had gone through a ton of snacks when Zab finally emerged from the chamber.

"I am done my Tallest." said Zab.

"Excellent Zab, now go wait in the lounge until we call you." said Red.

"Ok my Tallest." said Zab as she pulled out a Gameslave and began to walk away.

"So Red, when do we get the test scores?" said Purple.

"They should be done any second now." said Red.

He was right, for just at that moment a piece of paper was brought to Red by a floating robot drone.

"Ah, here they are now." said Red, he then began to read them.

If Red had eye brows they would have shot up at what he saw on the paper.

"These scores are…are…" said Red.

"Horrible, abysmal, the worst ever?" said Purple.

"They're perfect, absolutely perfect. I was right, the introduction of those two humans personalities into Zim's has made a better invader." said Red.

"So what do we do with this little bit of info?" said Purple.

"I'll tell you what we do, we make Zab an Invader and send her to planet Earth, it should be the perfect planet to test her skills on." said Red.

"Are you sure she can do it?" said Purple

"I'm sure, it will be the perfect test planet for her skills. If she succeeds we can move her on to harder planets without worry." said Red.

"Ok, I guess I'll have one of the guards bring her in." said Purple.

He called one of the guards and told them to bring Zab back. In a few minutes he returned with Zab, who was still playing with her Gameslave.

"Zab, we have excellent news, your skills have not been degraded by being combined with the humans." said Red.

"Of course they weren't." said Zab in a smug voice.

"Uh yes, well we have decided to send you back to Earth to conquer it, just as a further test of you skills." said Red.

"Yes my Tallest, I shall infiltrate the humans society and doom them." said Zab.

"Very good, now you will be given new equipment and a S.I.R unit upgrade for this mission, as well as a new ship. Also before you go we need to put some new information in your Pak." said Red.

"Sure, whatever." said Zab.

Red was a little disturbed by Zab's odd personality, but he pushed that aside as he remembered the test scores. Red went over to a control panel and pushed a button, a wire shot out of the wall and attached to Zab's Pak. The machine then re-ID Zab as an Invader instead of a food service drone. With that completed she was now ready for her mission.

"Invader Zab, you are now ready to conquer in the name of the Irken Empire, good luck soldier." said Red.

"Your going to need it." said purple quietly, but Red elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up.

"I will not fail you my Tallest." said Zab.

She quickly left the room and went to her ship. Once inside she set course for planet Earth to visit unspeakable doom on humanity.

"You know Purple, I think that operation Impending Doom 2 may just have gained a great asset." said Red.

"Whatever you say, do you want to go eat or something?" said Purple.

"Sure, it will be a great end to an even greater day." said Red, the thoughts of all the planets they could conquer with this new and improved Invader going through his mind.

As the Tallest went to stuff their faces Invader Zab made her way to planet Earth. The stupid inhabitants of the planet had no idea what doom awaited them.

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Wow, that was a long chapter, sorry to keep you guys waiting. It looks like Earth is doomed, or is it? Well the only way to find out is to read the next chapter, and please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: The Nightmare Begins Again

It was a couple of weeks later when Zab finally returned to Earth. As she approached the planet an evil grin spread across her face.

"Pathetic little planet, soon I will bring about your downfall, Mwhahaha!" said Zab.

A tiny bit of what was Dib's desire to protect the Earth tried to rise into the front of Zab's mind, but it was quickly squashed by Zim and Gaz's more dominate and hateful personalities. So the Irken Invader picked up speed and quickly zoomed towards the planet.

The ship entered the atmosphere and make course towards the woods on the outskirts of the City. The ship landed in a clearing and Zab hopped out of it, she then pressed a button on the side and the large ship shrunk down to an easy to carry cube. She then took out the new hologram generator the Tallest gave her and picked disguised herself to look like the Gaz/Dib combination.

"Thus does my mission begin anew, now to get back to the base and get started on the conquest." said Zab.

Zab quickly and quietly made her way to the base, the few humans up this late not paying attention to her at all. Soon she had made it to the door and quickly got inside.

"Yes, that went well, now to make some improvements to the base

Zab looked around and saw Gir sitting on the couch watching TV, and then Gir noticed her.

"Hiya master! You back from talking to the tall people?" said Gir.

"Hmm, this might be a good place to start improving things." thought Zab.

"Yes Gir, yes I am, and they gave me lots of things to help in our mission. In fact Gir I have a little present for you, come here and open up the data port in your head." said Zab.

"Okie dokie master!" said Gir as he hopped over to Zab

Gir opened the data port in the top of his head and Zab installed the S.I.R. upgrade into it. suddenly Gir's eyes turned red and a surge of electricity went through him, then it stopped.

"Gir, report upgrade status." said Zab.

"Madam! Upgrade installed and working properly!" said Gir, now locked into duty mode.

"Excellent, now on to get on with the mission, the Tallest are counting on me to doom this world." said Zab as she went down into her lab followed by Gir.

After a few hours of unpacking the equipment that the Tallest gave her and installing it Zab was now ready to come up with a plan to conquer the Earth.

"Now, to figure out how to plunge the humans into a nightmare world from which there is no waking." said Zab.

Zab scanned the planets internet until she came to a news article about Professor Membrane and his desperate search for his missing children. A small part of Dib and Gaz's minds felt a twinge of emotion that their father was actually looking for them, but that was quickly pushed aside by a plan from Zim's mind.

"Hmm, so this human is looking for his children is he? Well why let him live in pain any longer?" said Zab as she activated her hologram disguise to turn her into Gaz.

"Gir! Transform into Dib using the new hologram device I gave you." said Zab.

"Yes Mistress I obey!" said Gir as he changed his appearance to that of Dib.

"Now Gir, let us go meet our father." said Zab as they left the base.

The two made their way to the Membrane home. Meanwhile at the house Professor Membrane was directing the search for his two kids, after about a week of not noticing they were gone. He had barely been to work at all during the whole time that Gaz and Dib had gone missing, and the world was suffering because of it.

"Sir, you haven't been to work in weeks, and the President Man is waiting for you to solve the energy crisis." said Simons.

"Not now, can't you see that I'm very busy looking for my children, the President Man will have to wait." said Prof. Membrane.

"But sir…" said Simons, but he was cut off.

After cutting off his assistant the professor turned to his computer, which controlled the search drones looking for Gaz and Dib

"Probe X342, have you found any sign of my children?" said Prof. Membrane.

"No sir, I regret to inform you that I have not." said the Computer Drone.

"Well keep looking, its not like they are going to just show up at the door." said Prof. Membrane.

It was then that the door bell rang, the professor turned his eye to it and glared.

"Now who would could that be?" said Prof. Membrane.

Membrane stomped over to the door ready to give who ever was there a piece of his mind. He threw open the door, but before he could say one word he was left speechless, because standing right in front of him was Gaz and Dib.

"Gaz? Dib? Is that you?" said Prof. Memebrane, thinking that his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Yes Father, it is us, your children." said 'Gaz'.

"Oh this is wonderful! You have returned at long last!" said Memebrane as he swept them into a hug.

"Come in, come in! You have to tell me where you were, I was worried sick." said Prof. Membrane.

"In a little bit Father, but could you get us something to drink?" said 'Gaz'

"Why sure honey I'll…be…right…back…" said Prof. Membrane as he turned towards the kitchen, but fell to the ground with a tranquiller dart in the back of his neck.

"Good, phase one of the infiltration is complete, now on to phase two, Gir!" said Zab as she dropped the disguise.

"Yes my mistress?" said Gir as he also dropped his disguise.

"I want you to search the humans lab for any and all information on his affairs. I will search the rest of this house and lay out a plan to exploit it." said Zab.

"Yes Mistress I obey!" said Gir as he rocketed off.

While Gir was doing that Zab looked around the living room she was in. She saw that it had one TV, one couch, and other miscellaneous items including a lamp that looked like the unconscious professor. But something one the table caught her eye, it was a family picture of Dib, Gaz and the Professor. From the fact that it showed Dib and Gaz as kids it was taken a while ago. The one thing that was weird was that in the photo they looked…happy. This caused the parts of Zab that were Gaz and Dib to feel bad about what they were doing. Zab quickly shoke her head to get rid of the thoughts.

"No, I am a invader. I can not let the pathetic emotions of my predecessors get in the way of the mission." Thought Zab, dispelling the thoughts from her mind.

Zab decided to go look at the other rooms of the house. She decided to go upstairs first because she wanted to avoid the kitchen and its horrible human food. She walked up the stairs and saw two rooms, Dib's was on the right, Gaz's was on the left. She decided to check out Gaz's room first. She walked into the room but forgot about one thing, Gaz's robotic security system. The second she walked into the room a horde of horrible robotic stuffed animals rose up to confront her.

"Halt intruder, leave or prepare to be destroyed!" said the stuffed abominations.

Zab began to panic and was about to run for it, but then from the part of her that was Gaz a memory came.

"Override code: Dib will pay!" said Zab as she prepared for the worst.

"Override code accepted, welcome back mistress Gaz." said the robots, and then they shut down.

Zab opened one of her eyes to see what was happening, and saw that the robots had shut down. She then stood up and scratched her head.

"Hmm, I must sound enough like Gaz to fool her robots, which makes sense since I am part her." said Zab to herself.

The invader then walked over to one of the robots and began to inspect it.

"I'm impressed, this is a advanced piece of robotics, especially for this stupid planet. Maybe I can use this in my conquest of this puny world." thought Zab.

Zab then left the room and walked over to Dib's room. When she opened the door she was greeted by a shrine to all things paranormal. Dib's room was covered with every type of object you could stick a alien, Bigfoot, or Lock Ness Monster on.

"Wow, there is a lot of junk here." said Zab as she kicked some magazines out of the way.

As she entered the room she noticed a computer sitting on the desk with a ton of papers around it. She went over to look at it and was shocked to find that on the papers was Irken writing in varying stages of being translated. From what she saw Dib had gathered a large amount of data on the Irken Empire and Zim. Zab was shocked that Zim had never bothered to investigate this, but then she remembered that he was a moron.

"I wonder if I should worry about that?" said Zab to herself.

Pushing that little doubt on her mental state aside she decided to look at the computer. She used a cable from her Pak to hack into the primitive computer, and within seconds she had total access. She began to look through the computers files and found even more information. The most amazing thing out of all of them was a recently taped video of Zim taking off his human disguise. Knowing Dib he was probably a day or two away from going to the swollen eyeball or the FBI with this tape, and this time they may have believed him.

"Well, it seems that Zim's invention had one good side effect, at least for the Empire's sake." thought Zab.

It was then that she noticed her hand had started moving of its own accord, and had attached the file to an email. She caught it just before it hit the send button.

"No, bad hand! Mustn't expose us to the humans!" said Zab as she fought with her own hand.

After a minute or so she had managed to gain control of it again. She started at the hand wondering what had gotten into it.

"Wow that was weird, my hand moved on its own. What could have caused that? I better be more careful." thought Zab, meanwhile inside of her a part of her wept at its failure.

Zab decided to destroy the information she found and the computer. After burning it to a crisp and putting out the smoldering ashes she walked down stairs and found Gir waiting for her.

"Gir, I see that you have finished your information gathering, report!" said Zab.

"I have found out much about the Membrane human's activities." said Gir, then a print out of the information came out of his head.

Zab took the sheet of information from Gir and began to read it. As she read she was more and more intrigued by what she saw.

"My Tallest! This human virtually runs this entire planet. He has control over all planetary power, a huge sum of resources, and influence over most of the planets leaders. He's almost its ruler right now." said Zab.

Zab stood there for a moment and thought on this information. Then an evil idea entered her mind, she looked up towards the room where the killer stuffed animals were and a sinister smile crossed her face.

"Gir, I think I have a plan. Mwha… Mwhahahahaha!" said Zab, her terrible laugh echoing throughout the house.

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Sorry for taking so long to update, between school, work and the massive writers' block I've had I had trouble finishing this chapter. But it's done now and I hope that you enjoy it. Please read and review.


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